My daily life ; simple like a retro pop song

I’m out from NS due of my skin sensitive thingy. They actually gave me the wrong medicine and thank god that I did not accept their injection or else I think I’m in the heaven right now. NS was really good. I’m real good with my bunch of sakai over there. But one thing, the food and water really sucks.

Will be booking in again tomorrow. Not tagging any hand phone in. I have no idea why the hack I felt so upset when I leave the camp. It felt so great to leave everything aside at home. Which I can’t even contact with anyone at all. It felt really good. I meant at least there’s a chance for me to relax my mind.

I’m leaving everything behind. I tried to live happy but it’s hard. GEEZ.

我很快樂, 請不要再說愛我, 別再觸碰我心裡還未傷癒的角落. 習慣一個人的我並不是缺你不可. 如果你是愛我的, 就別讓自己再犯錯. 我很快樂, 請不要再說愛我, 我已經把失去的當成了一種收穫. 悲傷的劇情太多, 曾經都侵襲著我, 所以我不再做這第三者的第三者.

Last post before I leave. I don’t have any farewell party with my friends over here but I’m glad that my Ohana did not forget about me. Honest speaking, I got very fed up on my friends. I basically don’t feel like talking or replying them message at all. Who the hell care if you throw or don’t throw a farewell and birthday to me or not? I got my Ohana here with me that am enough. And I would like to tell you that I did have a very good birthday party this year.  The picture above lack of one fella which is Fun di. I don’t have a picture of him yet!

Had farewell at channel 9 room 4 yesterday night with my Ohana. We spammed 47 megas and I have no idea how many weathers you guys spam. Didn’t manage to take those weather screen shoot as you guys know that I’m slow.My mood was up and downs yesterday night which I know myself that I darn don’t want to leave you guys. Just wait for me alright? I will be back on September! Will our Sabah/ beach trip works? Hope so and pray hard! Another collection of us, the Ohana key chain. It rock our socks right? (;

I only left about a day time to blog about my Ohana family trip. But, I know that I don’t have enough time to blog about it. So I’ll just upload all the pictures at facebook. I don’t have to go on with much detail isn’t it? It’s basically about me and my Ohana member’s trip. Its fun and I do really appreciate the days we spent together. I have no idea when only we can hang out again. Thanks for the surprise at TGI Friday even though I’ve been forced to finish up the quarter of the cake. I really appreciate of what you guys have done for me. I really do.

This is the Mei I always mention about. This ben here actually changed my life. I have no idea what words I can describe what she meant to me, but that’s definably more than a best friend. It’s weird that how the both of us got so close. She’s the only one that I can’t hide my secret.

This is my dearest bei bei. She eats like totally a lot but somehow she won’t gain weight! The first time of me hanging out with her which is last Saturday? The same point of the both of us are, both also sotong. Or maybe I can say, she’s even more sotong than me. A very nice girl to share with.

Here comes this idiot, ben ben. The only man which can complain more 24 hours non stop. Even worst than Nick. I can’t be upset or emo in front of him, or else, dead. He always says that I don’t felt touch towards the entire thing he had did for me. But ya know, sometimes feelings are hard to express out. I’m sorry that I makes you felt piss off most of the times and I’m just like another idiot which don’t even know how to take good care of myself. I’m sorry la dey alright? From now on, I won’t tears, I will eat, I won’t emo, and I will put a smile on my face everyday! Then, I will throw all my past away and stand up and live a life! I do sayang you, but just that very hard for me to show it out in front of you. If only you get what I meant. ROFL.

 This is Fishy. Well, sisters do fight but after all we’re sisters still. Somehow, sometimes she makes me felt that I’m actually living in a happy family and make me learn how to save a little. But something I really hate about her is her foolish which makes peoples can get over her head and everything. Be more strong you blur fishy.

I don’t have a single pictures with Gin, Nick, TSC, Fun, Lily & Dugong. But with or without pictures. I will still blog about you guys. Gin, the one that always scold me with a very harsh way but I love her deep in still. As for Nick, the one always emo if I don’t listen to his instruction! Stop using that way! I hate it! I’m going to make sure that’s not going to work on me next time! Tsc, a very kind hearted lady which get fed up on my voices, kindly excuses me because I’m just that noisy. Fun is the one that always get bully by her sister, which am me. Always learn the bad way of mine but not the good way. Lily, the one who always get busy with her colleges and everything. Don’t get so stress out girl. Last but not least, my lovely dugong. Al thought I don’t chat with you much but I love you.

Ohana, thanks you for everything. The only place which I found my second home.

So, I finally turned 18. I’m sorry if you can’t get me right now because I actually turned off my phone. Ben ben was the first to wish my birthday. After 4 years, someone actually took his place for being the first wishing me birthday. I felt uneasy. Thanks for all the birthday wishes on facebook and everything. I sucks.

Hello folks! I’m sorry for the lack of updates because I’m super duper uber tirple busy this week! I’m almost out like everyday with my Ohana. Yes, Mei & Tsc is finally here! Sadly, Nick can’t join us and it’s pretty hard for him to join us due of his grandfather issue. And not to forget, Ben Ben came down on a very last minutes! Update soon.

I’m super duper uber triple tired but it worth.

I know I’m not the a part of you guys anymore. I don’t know why and what make this became like this. Aiyoh, I don’t know. Fcuk our high school friendship up alright? Even if I wish to meet all of you up before I leave it’s like so fcuking impossible. I don’t know why am I still giving in so much when.. Ah, fcuk it.

I texted the longest message ever in my life and I send it out to the nine of them. A pause of everything. With no regret, the best dream I ever had in life. And it lasted for a long time. I’m packing myself up and walk all the way backwards. I will go back to where I used to stand. I’m not a good leader in everything or I should say I’m not a good friend in any kind of way. My temper, my attitude, everything of mine just pretty much sucks the hell of the world. Thanks to you peoples for putting so much effort and time in me but I’m sorry that I’m letting all this go in this time. Let’s just have a pause of the friendship between us. Letting this go isn’t an optional. I would rather make all my trouble solo by myself than telling you guys. It will only make you guy’s worries or I even add up another trouble to you guys. It’s fun to be with the all of you. Sleep over, Genting trip, Penang trip, lan shop trip and all the lame mega that you guys sabo me and lot more. I’m leaving everything behind. I will be fine.

I could never agree with either of them. It would have been comfortable, but I could not believe it. Because it seemed clear that wars were not made by generations and their special stupidities, but that wars were made instead by something ignorant in the human heart. People are such hypocrites. I don’t even know why I bother. Sorry for not getting back to everyone yet. I’m working on it.

The saddest part of a broken heart isn’t the ending so much as the start. The tragedy starts from the very first spark; losing your mind for the sake of your heart. Never mind. Forget it. They’re just memories inside of a spiral notebook. You can say I changed and I can say fuck you. You never knew me to begin with.

Friendship, relationship & fcuking fcuk it all up. Loner rocks (;

Fcuking shang. Take a big breath and start smashing on drums. Fcuk life.

I hate the fcuking preasure. Fcuk all this shyte. Fcuk it all up. F-C-U-K.

I’m actually crying like fcuk now. I didn’t realise how much I miss him till I realise how much he pay out for me on this two months. I don’t know what happen. We are not even talking with each other now. I don’t know are we over nor did we even start this before. I don’t know. In another hand, I miss Mei. I’m actually crying cause of you both. I don’t even dare to share my problems with her now as I know she’s having her very own personal problems lately which can totally kills her off.

I don’t know how to stop myself for crying. I felt so helpless and hopeless. I don’t need any happy pills or what. I don’t know. I just felt like smashing my head on the wall and let me to be gone for good.

I give up on maple. I give up on Ohana. I just want to have Mei, Nick, Gin & him by my side. I just want it to be where’s supposed to be all along. Back to the starting point which is only the five of us. My phone used to be flooded by you guys. But right now, I don’t even get more than 30 messages from you guys. Can we don’t be down anymore? Can we back to the life where are we supposed to be? Can we just siao like how we siao like before? My hearts ache so badly when I see about us right now. It’s all about tears and pressure.  I feel like giving up on life. I found back my blade. Ah, I suck. I’m such a promise breaker.

I’m all the way back in love with drum again. It’s funny that I can still play drum after not touching it for ages. I don’t know. I think playing music is the best way to release out my pressure. And just so you know, another song completed today. I wonder if anyone out there would actually like to take a look of those songs that I wrote.

I know I’ve been gone far away from the KL life style for a very long time. I’ve been taking a very great escape from the reality. Well, no much comments about us. I don’t know what we are anymore. I’m totally so outdated. I have no idea what happen what’s going on with my best friends lately. I honestly know nothing about them. I actually felt that I’m a loser for losing contact with them. I’m confused. I don’t want to feel this way. I hate feeling. For once, escaping away from this used be the life style of mine is not that good overall.

There’s too much to say. But, I don’t even have the guts to actually tells you guys my feelings towards you all. I can’t fit in you guys well. Seriously, I got bored of those kind of lifestyle you guys having. Clubbing, drinking, late night outing and all, I seriously got very bored of it. But, I don’t know why I am feeling so fkthewhat while you guys don’t ask me out when you guys have something going on. Even though I hate those party place a lot. Weird.

Gin pm-ed me on msn in the early morning. I thought there’s something serious going on or what so I text-ed her after that. And guess to know about that shyte. Sometimes, I really wonder what the fella thinking. I meant like how are you supposed to know shyte when you don’t even want to use your mouth to ask right? So much more to say but I can’t seems to find the right way to speak it out. I don’t want to hurt anyone. So, I guess the best is, keeping quite and let the fella be the innocent. Gin, Mei, Nick, Bei & Ben Ben, no worries, I will hold on tight. I will not just fall because of it. Thanks for bei & Ben Ben, no worries, I will hold on tight. I will not just fall because of it. Thanks for being by my side all these time. I love you guys, hack lot.

In another way, I’m happy because I win her? Well, I knew that all along. I got more mp and I can actually 2 hit at skele. Like woah? Thanks Bei, Shawn, Ben ben & Koko hack lot. Four of them really help me out so much. Especially Bei, she’s the one help me level in the last minutes! Words can’t describe how much I love you. That’s why whenever you call me, I’m excited. And thanks for all the lovely megas. I still need help for the entire skills quest! GEEZ ! Ben ben, Koko & Ian, faster help me complete my quest! Not to forget I did my reviv quest with Ian till 5am+! It’s killing me, really. I’m lack of my beauty sleep, I need to sleep.

I will try not to have any hard feeling towards her, but somehow, it’s weird. I just can’t seem to treat her like how I treat her last time. Perhaps, feelings fade? I don’t know. If only she understand what’s our feeling towards her.

Ohana is not a place of hiding. It’s not when you need it, you come. It’s not. It’s totally wrong for those who have this though on their mind. Ohanians, if anyone out you out there don’t like to be a part of us, you can kindly inform me and you can quit. I really don’t mind. Because it’s not like Ohana can’t afford to lose anyone of you.  I can say, if you leave this family, you will never get to feel loved again. I don’t kick peoples out from this family expect for James. As you guys know what he did to me when I’m at Penang. A ditcher, a promise breaker, an idiot.. hmm what else? So, if anyone of you want to quit or what, just inform me. I won’t bite.

Did I put back a nice shout out? Hmmmmm…